Mario's Jukebox
by Walkazo
Summary: A collection of songs with modified, "Mario"-themed lyrics.
1. Mamma Mia

**Disclaimer****: I don't own **_**Mario**_**, Nintendo does. I also don't own any of the original songs, nor did I write the original lyrics, just the altered ones.**

**Author's Notes****: Back in 2009, I wrote a **_**Mario**_** version of "Mamma Mia" by ABBA. Since then, I've done a couple other songs, and now (as of 2013), I've decided to get off my lazy butt, type them up, and publish them. If you can, definitely look up the original songs on YouTube or something, so you'll know how the words fit to a melody (plus, it's good music). Either way, I hope you like them!**

* * *

Mamma Mia!

_**Peach**_**: **I've been kidnapped by you since I don't know when  
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end.  
_**Bowser**_**:** Look at me now, will I ever learn?  
I don't know how but I suddenly lose control  
There's a fire within my soul.

_**Peach**_**: **Just 1-Up and I can hear the Stars ring.  
_**Bowser**_**: **One more jump and I forget everything.

_**All**_**:** Wo-o-o-oh!

_**Mario**_**:** Mamma mia, let's-a go again  
Bowser, I'm-a gonna get you!  
Mamma mia, it's-a Toad again  
Oh no! Another castle – here I go!  
_**Peach**_**: **Yes I've been brokenhearted  
Blue since the day we parted.  
_**Bowser**_**:** Why, why did I ever let you go?  
_**Mario**_**:** Mamma mia, it's a Hammer Bro.  
_**Bowser**_**:** Princess, I could never let you go.

_**Peach**_**: **I've been angry and sad about things that you do  
I can't count all the times that I've told you we're through.  
_**Bowser**_**:** But when you go, go with Mario  
I think you know that you won't be away too long  
You know that I'm just too strong.  
_**Peach**_**: **Just 1-Up and I can hear the Stars ring.  
_**Bowser**_**:** One fireball and I forget everything.

_**All**_**:** Wo-o-o-oh!

_**Mario**_**:** Mamma mia, let's-a go again  
Princess, I'm-a gonna save you!  
Mamma mia, it's-a Toad again  
Oh no! Another castle – here I go!  
_**Peach**_**: **Yes I've been brokenhearted  
Blue since the day we parted.  
_**Bowser**_**:** Why, why did I ever let you go?  
_**Mario**_**:** Mamma mia, I-a always say  
"Bowser, leave us now or never"  
Mamma mia, it's a game we play  
"The End", should-a mean forever.

Mamma mia, let's-a go again  
Bowser, I'm-a gonna get you!  
Mamma mia, it's-a Toad again  
Oh no! Another castle – here I go!  
_**Peach**_**: **Yes I've been brokenhearted  
Blue since the day we parted.  
_**Bowser**_**:** Why, why did I ever let you go?  
_**Mario**_**:** Mamma mia, it's a Fire Bro.  
_**Both**_**:** Princess, we could never let you go.


	2. Dead Daisies

**A/N****: This one's in Princess Daisy's POV and comes from "Dead Flowers" by the Rolling Stones, from their album **_**Sticky Fingers**_**: one of my favourite songs, by one of my favourite bands.**

* * *

Dead Daisies

Well when you're standing tall in your pitch black overalls  
Talking to that rich guy that you know  
Well, I hope you will see me in my plumber company  
Well, you know I could never be alone

Take me down Waluigi, take me down  
I know you think you're the king of spin-off characters town  
And you can send me dead flowers every morning  
Send me dead flowers by the mail  
Send me dead flowers to my wedding  
And I won't forget to put daisies on your grave

Well when you're sitting back in that purple Cadillac  
Making bets on NES Open Tournament Day  
Ah, I'll be out on the greens and you know what that means  
With my Mario Bro. taking my neglect away

Take me down Waluigi, take me down  
I know you think you're the king of spin-off characters town  
And you can send me dead flowers every morning  
Send me dead flowers by the mail  
Send me dead flowers to my wedding  
And I won't forget to put daisies on your grave – yeah!

Take me down Waluigi, take me down  
I know you think you're the king of filler characters town  
And you can send me dead flowers every morning  
Send me dead flowers by Paratroopa mail  
Say it with dead flowers in my wedding  
And I won't forget to put daisies on your grave  
No, I won't forget to put Daisies on your grave


	3. The Queen's Lullaby

**A/N****: This one's a Mariofied version of "My Lullaby", the villain song from Disney's **_**The Lion King II: Simba's Pride**_**. It is mainly sung by Bowser's wife (who's named Bowselta in my fanon), meaning she's filling Zira's role from the movie, while Junior is Nuka and the other seven Koopalings get Vitani's lines. I wrote this by request for my brother (as an accompaniment to his Bowserfied "Be Prepared", from the first **_**Lion King**_**), and even sung the first four stanzas for a YouTube promo he made. I suck at singing, however, so no way am I giving you directions on how to find the video!**

* * *

The Queen's Lullaby

_**Bowselta**_**: **Rest, my weary Bowser  
Let your dreams unfurl  
Once Mario's dead and gone  
You will rule the world

We've been exiled, persecuted  
Left in darkness with no light  
When I think of what Mario did  
It makes me wanna fight

But behind the scenes I'm working  
So my kids don't fall depressed  
And although my kingdom's rotting  
I make sure we get our rest

The sound of Mario's dying gasp  
His princess squealing in my grasp  
His coward brother's mournful cry  
That's my lullaby

Game Overs, I've tried forgetting  
Retcons, I could forgive  
Trouble is Nintendo's petty  
So in the fanon I must live

_**Junior**_**: **So you'll find a canon character who'll chase Mario up a tree  
_**Bowselta**_**: **Oh the screenshots will be bloody, but that kinda works for me

The melody of 8-Bit growls  
A counterpoint of life-loss howls  
A symphony of death, oh my!  
That's my lullaby

Bowser's gone, but Dry Bones' still around  
So I shouldn't be so mad  
Cause he'll rise again a killer  
Reborn lust for being bad

_**Junior**_**: **Forget you lot of has-beens!  
Uhhh- I mean, beloved Koopalings  
_**Koopalings**_**:** Once Mario's dead and gone  
_**Bowselta**_**: **We will rule the world!

The pounding of the drums of war  
The thrill of Bowser's mighty roar

_**Junior**_**: **The joy of vengeance  
_**Koopalings**_**: **Testify!  
_**Bowselta**_**: **I can hear the cheering  
_**All kids**_**: **Bowser! What a guy!

_**Bowselta**_**: **Payback time is nearing  
And then our flag will fly  
Against that bright blue sky  
That's my lullaby!


	4. AntiiU

**A/N****: Ever since I happened to see a GIF of Waluigi's **_**Mario Strikers Charged**_** crotch-chop while I was listening to "Anti You" by Blue Stahli (from their eponymous album), and found it to be perfectly in beat with the song, the two have always been linked in my mind. But aside from the title, really, there's little in common between them, although I **_**can**_** picture the song being used as a background track for a photo montage of Waluigi mocking Luigi or something.**

**Obviously, I can't do a photo montage here, but while looking at the lyrics, another idea popped into my head – it's not so much a Mariofication like the other tunes, but rather, a meta approach, commenting on recent happenings regarding the **_**Mario**_** series. Namely, things like **_**Paper Mario Sticker Star**_**'s lack of plot and partners, the recent revelation that the older Koopalings aren't considered by Nintendo to be Bowser's kids anymore, and even more historic development railroadings like **_**Super Mario Galaxy**_**'s Rosalina content getting relegated from the main game to the storybook. This is a very contentious issue, and I know not everyone's as pissed about the story stripping as I am, so feel free to shake your head and skip to the next song, but before anyone gets _too_ mad, I **_**will**_** point out that the only reason why this little ditty's **_**quite **_**so aggressive is because the original song itself pushes the envelope and I simply went with the flow.**

* * *

AntiiU

Another command to succumb  
Buy all your games with a smile  
Fanatical culture like an exposition  
Storyline dogmatism  
Imagination's never in style  
Stroking the ego with a porting nation

Refusing to canonize  
Whitewash the plot you so despise

Marketing  
Misleading  
You'll tip the table  
And we'll fall right through  
Erasing  
Debasing  
I want to be the AntiiU

A singular definition  
Of what games are supposed to be like  
An arrogant principle of entertainment  
You're pushing the simplification  
We're never to question the hive  
You'll be the nemesis of expectation

Insisting they regurgitate  
Interfere and miscommunicate

Marketing  
Misleading  
You'll tip the table  
And we'll fall right through  
Erasing  
Debasing  
I want to be the AntiiU

AntiiU

This narcissism is a system to infuriate  
Perpetuating overselling and congratulate

Marketing  
Misleading  
You'll tip the table  
And we'll fall right through  
Erasing  
Debasing  
We're left nothing to prove

Marketing  
Misleading  
You'll tip the table  
And we'll fall right through  
Erasing  
Debasing  
I want to be the AntiiU


	5. Viva la Vita

**A/N****: This is a "what if" story about Peach, based on the song "Viva la Vida" by Coldplay, from their album **_**Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends**_** (a.k.a. "**_**Viva la Vida**_**"). No, the title is not a typo: it's Italian, like Peach's dearly departed friends…**

* * *

Viva la Vita

He used to rule the world  
Now Koopas rise when I give the word  
Yes in the morning I sleep alone  
In the castle Bowser once owned

He used to fly the skies  
Raining fire on all those he despised  
But he never thought he'd see  
That last killing blow – delivered by me

One minute he held the key  
But now the throne belongs to me  
And I discovered that my quaint homeland  
Compared to his domain, were castles of sand

I hear Goombas and Boo laughter ringing  
Koopa Troop cavalry choirs singing  
Be my mushroom, my spiked-shell shield  
My Mario Bros. in Elysian Fields

I've caused such losses and so much pain  
Since they died there was never  
Never a loving word  
That was before I ruled the world

I turned into an empty queen  
Left ruins where kingdoms had once been  
Shattered Star Roads and the sound of drums  
People couldn't believe what I'd become

My guileless heart betrayed?  
Oh but evil feels so great  
I'm not lonely, I've got everything  
I can see why Bowser loved to be king

I hear Goombas and Boo laughter ringing  
Koopa Troop cavalry choirs singing  
Be my mushroom, my spiked-shell shield  
My Mario Bros. in Elysian Fields

I've caused such losses and so much pain  
I know Star Spirits won't call my name  
Never a loving word  
When I set out to conquer the world

Oh oh ohhhhhh oh ohhh oh

I hear Goombas and Boo laughter ringing  
Koopa Troop cavalry choirs singing  
Be my mushroom, my spiked-shell shield  
My Mario Bros. in Elysian Fields

I've caused such losses and so much pain  
I know Star Spirits won't call my name  
Never a loving word  
And that was when I ruled the world


	6. Bowser's Blaze of Glory

**A/N****: This one's "Blaze of Glory" by Jon Bon Jovi, done from Bowser's POV. The original song was written by Bon Jovi (the guy, not the band as a whole) for the film **_**Young Guns II**_**, and is the eponymous track of his first solo album, **_**Blaze of Glory**_**.**

* * *

Bowser's Blaze of Glory

I wake up in the morning  
And I raise my weary head  
I've got gold coins, silken pillows  
And a castle 'round my bed  
But I don't know where I'm going  
Though the world knows where I've been  
I'm a Koopa on the run  
A fireball lover  
An Ember in the wind

When I was brought into this world  
They said I was born in sin  
Well at least they gave me something  
I didn't have to steal or fail to win  
Well they tell me that I'm hated  
Yeah I'm a hated man  
I'm an Ostro in your sights  
I'm a dragon to your knight  
Plumber, catch me if you can

I'm going down in a blaze of glory  
Take me now but know the truth  
I'm going down in a blaze of glory  
Stars, I always drew first  
But he drew first blood  
I'm a wizard's son  
Call me villain

You ask about my conscience  
When I kidnap you once more  
You ask why I can't just be a good guy  
When he takes you out my door  
You say I'll never know love  
Or what it's like to sing songs in the rain  
Peach, I've seen love come  
I've seen it shot down  
I've seen it die in vain

Shot down in a blaze of glory  
Take me now but know the truth  
'Cause I'm going down in a blaze of glory  
Stars, I always drew first  
But he drew first blood  
I'm a monster's son  
Call me villain

Each night I go to bed  
I pray the Stars my wishes keep  
No I ain't looking for forgiveness  
But before I'm six foot deep  
Stars, I got to ask a favour  
And you better understand  
I've played the game to the fullest  
Let the Koopa kill the man  
Fighting for the princess  
Guess I'll make my final stand

Shot down in a blaze of glory  
Take me now but know the truth  
I'm going down in a blaze of glory  
Stars I always drew first  
But he drew first blood  
I'm a Koopa's son  
Call me villain  
I'm a villain  
Villain…


	7. He Went To Brooklyn

**A/N****: This is a melancholy "what if it all went wrong?" song, rewritten from Jimmy Buffett's "He Went To Paris", from his album **_**A White Sport Coat and a Pink Crustacean**_**, although I've always known the song as being part of his excellent compilation album, **_**Songs You Know By Heart**_**.**

* * *

He Went To Brooklyn

He went to Brooklyn looking for answers  
To learn how to be a plumber  
His 'stache was impressive, he was aggressive  
Taking the gigs with his bro.  
When the angry gorilla  
Kidnapped his girlfriend  
His hero's heart did inflame  
He saved the girl and they  
Cleaned up the sewers then  
The Mario Bros. slipped away.

They went to the Mushroom Kingdom and rescued  
The kidnapped princess, Peach Toadstool  
They had adventures fighting the Koopas  
And various other evil doers  
And all of the answers, his plumber education  
He locked in his basement one day  
'Cause he liked the fire, the dangerous living  
And twenty-five years slipped away.

Well Bowser took his princess, Boos killed Luigi  
Kamek blew away his left leg  
The whole land was battered, the Star World was shattered  
All the frightened Toads did was beg  
While kingdoms were falling, he was recalling  
The answers he had once found  
So he hopped down a Warp Pipe headed for Brooklyn  
Left the Koopa Kingdom without a sound.

Now he lives on the island, fixing the pipe lines  
And eats his lasagna each day  
He plays videogames but turns off the wi-fi  
'Cause he don't care for how most people play  
Through too many years off hammers and jumping  
If he likes you he'll smile and he'll say  
Pauline, some of it's magic, some of it's tragic  
Wish I'd stayed a plumber all the way.

He went to Brooklyn looking for answers  
And learned how to be a hero.


	8. Black Graffiti

**A/N****: This one's about Bowser Jr. and the plot of **_**Super Mario Sunshine**_**, but it's also inspired by the fanfic **_**Finite Incantantum**_** by DymondGold, and her adorable portrayal of little Junior. The song is "Black Velvet" by Alannah Myles, from her self-titled debut album.**

* * *

Black Graffiti

Isle Delfino at the height of tourist season  
Peach's airplane is now circling up high  
Mama's coming, Mario's at her shoulder  
The sun is burning like dragon fire in the sky  
The boy could run, knew how to fool everyone  
Enemy's coming on, leaves them all running from

Black graffiti and that little boy's smile  
Black graffiti in that wild Koopa style  
A perfect setup brings Mario to his knees  
Black graffiti if you please

Corona Mountain, the volcano's caused a heatwave  
Giant hot tub boiling in the sky  
Mama Peach is in the heart of Junior's Papa  
"We're family," Bowser speaks another lie  
The child he used, it was a shame, so sweet and true  
Watch as he brings it on, Mario's running from

Black graffiti and that little boy's smile  
Black graffiti and that evil Koopa style  
Junior's distraction brings Mario to his knees  
Black graffiti if you please

Every drop that he spreads when he's disguised as you  
In a flash FLUDD was gone, it happened so soon, what could you do?

Black graffiti and that little boy's smile  
Black graffiti in that thieving Koopa style  
Cruel deception brings Mario to his knees  
Black graffiti if you please

Red pollution and Shadow Mario's smile  
Blue illusions and that fiery Koopa style  
Rainbow poison brings the hero to his knees  
Black graffiti if you please  
If you please…


	9. Koopa on Fire

**A/N****: This is a **_**Mario**_** version of the **_**Mega Man**_**-derived song "Man on Fire / Heatman" by The Megas. It is originally from their album **_**Get Equipped**_**, in which they took the music from the game **_**Mega Man 2**_**, turned it into rock n' roll and added thematic lyrics, although I personally prefer the acoustic remixes from their subsequent **_**Get Acoustic**_** album.**

* * *

Koopa on Fire

Born in flames and blackened skies  
The Koopa Kingdom's where I reside  
Across Dark Land I hear the voices cry  
I've made them a promise that Mario dies!

Can you feel the fire? . . . _(The fire.)_  
Can you see the kingdoms burn? . . . . . . _(Those kingdoms burn…)_  
From the next castle I call your name . . _(Mario!)_ . . . . . . . . . . .  
Can you feel the heat? . . _(Heat.)_

The time has come for Mushroom World to burn  
This time they're all gonna learn  
The countless Toads scream out in blinding fear  
They're spreading the word that King Bowser is here!

Can you feel the fire? . . ._(The fire.)_  
Can you see the kingdoms burn? . . . . . ._(Those kingdoms burn…)_  
From the last level I call your name . . ._(Mario!)_ . . . . . . . . . ._  
_Can you feel the heat? . . ___(Heat.)_

Can you feel my heat?  
This is the boss stage.  
Can you feel my heat?  
Apocalyptic outrage.  
Can you feel…

Can you feel the fire? _. . . (The fire.)_  
Can you see the kingdoms burn? . . . . . . _(Those kingdoms burn…)_  
From the final bridge I call your name _. . (Mario!)_. . . . . . . . . . ._  
_Can you feel the heat? . . . . . . .

You are the hero  
I am the villain  
This is Game Over  
Your health bar's flaggin'  
Your quest for Peach has turned to ashes,  
Mario!


End file.
